Saturday, November 15, 2014

Why don't people know how to talk?



For years, I've usually assumed that people don't want to talk to me because I'm a socially awkward homeschool freak with nothing to offer.  Finally, I've realized that this is not the case, by any means. Even though I'm the one who is apparently *whispers* socially challenged, my social skills are really not the problem.

Of course, maybe I am out of "the norm." But the norm is apparently being good at socializing, in which case chocolate has become vanilla, up has become down, left has become right, and I have become six feet tall.

Time and time again, I have been invited to parties. (Wow! Huh. How about that. I actually leave the house, what a gosh-darned miracle.) Typically, being an introverted person, I prefer small groups of people, but I am willing to venture out of that comfort zone from time to time.
"Why aren't you talking? Poor Rebecca, you don't know anyone! It must be hard to get out when you're homeschooled."

Um, no.

Actually, it's not that hard because I've been invited to this party.  I'm not talking because I don't know anyone.  I don't know anyone because you haven't introduced me.

Like, I honestly don't get people's problem.

How to introduce a person to another person:
"By the way, this is my friend, Becca. Becca, this is Bob." 

Wow!
Who ever thought it could be so easy? 

It's awkward to just start talking, it's awkward to introduce myself, it's awkward for me to not talk.  Honestly, it's all labeled as awkward because I'm the different one, I'm the outsider.  I really don't think anyone has taken the time to realize: oh, hey. Maybe I'm the one who isn't exercising proper social etiquette.

And of course I don't expect it to be like, "Miss Oakes, this is Mr. Brown.  Mr. Brown enjoys going to the opera, reading C.S. Lewis, and taking long walks on the beach.  He attended a wine tasting last Thursday and owns his own law firm."
Well I mean at this point I would marry Mr. Brown.
But it doesn't even need to be that formal.

"Yo this is Bob, he plays the guitar and likes Mayday Parade -- you do, too, don't you, Becca?"
wow.
a conversation starter given by a mutual friend

such unheard of
so difficult
wow~


Time and time again, I've been in small groups of people, when those small groups run into other people from their schools.  And that's fine, I'm totally down for talking to new people.  But I mean, it's sometimes helpful if I can be introduced.

I can recount numerous times when I have come out of my shell to introduce myself and begin a conversation, to which I have been met with odd looks and people staring at me like I'm a unicorn. (Or maybe a walking troll doll. It's less "wow so majestic" and more "why the hell is that midget potato talking to me?")

It's not like I walk up to random people and go: "Hi my name is Becca I am a Catholic homeschooler who reads all the time, eats a lot of cookies, anD LOvES JESUS!!!!!1!!/!~! Oh also i went to the hills of California to read books and pray for two weeks this summer and IT WAS AWESOME"
No.
It's more like:
"Hi, I'm Rebecca! I think I've seen you guys in those plays at your high school. I really liked the musical last spring!"

*cricket*
.... *cricket* 
..... "um....thanks?" 

Either my previous sentiment gives the vibe of WEIRDO ALERT, or people genuinely do not know how to talk to new people.

Allow the sheltered homeschooler to paint you a picture.

Me: ... I really liked the musical last spring!
Them: Wow, thanks! It was a really fun show to do.
Me: It looked like a lot of fun. Who did you play again?
Them: Oh, I played the brother.
Me: That's right! That part had some GREAT one-liners!
Them: Yeah, it was so funny! Do you do any acting?
Me: Yeah, a little! I used to take classes at . . .
(le conversation continues)

Congratulations! You have made a new friend! *applause, applause*


People have trouble venturing out of their circles.  I really have no circles, I just traverse amongst them on the grand search for a circle in which I may belong.  Because of that, I actually know a wider variety of people, I just don't have a tight circle of people.  Somehow, this makes me awkward.

Additionally, the fact that I like to have conversations is apparently quite out of the ordinary.
The fact that I don't like to walk up to a group of teenagers and go:

"so like yeah it's so weird when like people hold their phone like that cause it's like yeah i don't know it's like so weird like ugh wtf like i never hold my phone like that i mean like it's so dumb i always hold my phone like this but never like that it's just so effin' weird like *swear swear swear* yeah" 
And actual representation of a conversation I witnessed last night.

somehow the fact that I don't do this makes me socially inept?!?!?!?!?!!? and an aWKwaRD Lon3R lol wow

I don't mean that every conversation has to be about Plato or Socrates or Mozart (frankly, I would go insane.) But I like to talk about more than just the way people hold their phones and isn't it weird when people post stuff like that on twitter and hey i'm not actually really interested in talking to you, let me just put you in my phone so I can text you when I'm bored and you can send me YouTube videos that I haven't already seen four times.

I like to talk about music, activities, books, movies, TV shows, clothes, sports, traveling, the weather, food, candy, bands, school, coffee, history, math, work, anything really.

I can and will gladly talk about something!

What I have a problem with is talking about nothing.

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